Does Anybody Know!?

DSC_1035-(ZF-2135-99237-1-013)So over the past few months my brain has been a pile of baby mush. While I still retain the most useless celebrity and movie knowledge, I forget the most basic information, I fumble for the easiest words, and I often feel like a an extra from The Walking Dead. But as I am getting used to this whole being a provider of life and sustenance, the reality of what a major undertaking that is has set in... I mean you know, but you don't KNOW... People try to prepare you, "get ready" "life will never be the same" blah, blah, blah, but here's the thing, not many folks really verbalize the struggles that can go along with being a new parent mommy. After I had Rocco, I felt so out of control and, bloody hell, I love to be in control. You are so worried about everything. Is he eating enough? Is he pooping enough? Am I pooping enough?! Is he crying too much?! Am I crying too much!?! All these things that no one really mentions and the more I talk to mommies the more I see that this is all totally normal. Even the most put together mommy loses her shit and if she says that she doesn't then she sits on a throne of lies. DSC_1258-ZF-4178-06689-1-001-006IT'S FREAKING HARD. Those first few months are especially draining on your body and on your soul!!! You want so much to make this lil nugget happy so when you can't you literally lose your marbles. You bawl, "what the hell do you want!?" and then you are filled with such guilt you take some time to cry in the closet. I felt such shame, when I would finally email The Captain I would confess that I felt like the worst mommy because I yelled at my poor baby and then cried locked in the bathroom... Well, as it turns out I wasn't alone. I would say the majority of mommys that I opened up to say they have had similar experiences. Don't you see!? We are all in the same boat, NONE of us know what we are doing!! My dearest friend, Shelly, reminded me one day that having a child is not supposed to be a one person job, the whole saying "it takes a village." She was so right, but it extends beyond your immediate family and friends... instead of ripping each other apart because "you can't believe she feeds her kids fast food" or "that she co-slept with her baby until he was a toddler" we should be helping lift each other up! Dude, it doesn't matter, we are all trying to survive and figure out what works best for our tiny humans because, shocker, all babies are different!!! No one, I repeat, NO ONE knows the perfect recipe for a happy baby that never cries and instantly sleeps through the night every single night ever!!! Can I get an AMEN!? We all love our babies so much, but let's nod our heads in agreement that there will be somedays where a shower and a poop alone are literally major triumphs! We are all in this together boos! [Insert fist pump here]

DSC_0724-(ZF-6193-92140-1-001)photos via Kelsey Erin Photography

Note: If you feel like you are experiencing more than just exhaustion and raging hormones please reach out to someone. Postpartum depression is a very real thing and you have to know you aren't alone! My brilliant friend Aggie wrote a beautiful and raw piece about her experience with ppd, I highly encourage you to check it out.

If you are having or have had a rough time and would just like to chat please to shoot me an message!

Baby Shenanigans I Can't Live Without: 0-3 Months

DSC_0656-(ZF-7009-48660-1-006)Photos via Kelsey Erin Photography

Dude, kids need a ton of shit. Like you can't get out of the door without the infant carrier, a swaddle blanket, a blanket-blanket, diapers, wipes, a nursing cover, a paci, a change of clothes, and blah blah blah blah… Holy BANANAS!!! Now, I bought a crap-ton of baby clothes, but I really wanted to err on the side of caution and have less rather than more when it came to baby toys and accessories. I think that was one thing I did right, but you still need quite a bit of stuff at the ready to keep you sane whilst you care for your lil' nugget. Here are 10 9 things that have made my life better over the past 3 months.

[1] 4Moms Mamaroo aka Sleep Central. I am in love with this swing. He slept in it almost exclusively his first 3 weeks and where he took the majority of his naps until he hit 3 months. He will also just chill and watch me cook and suck on his hands during his awake time, he hangs out and plays with Daisy the Cow and stares for ages at the built in mobile. It's adorable. We like the Kangaroo setting on the highest level when he's awake and the car ride setting when he's asleep!

DSC_0645-(ZF-7009-48660-1-009)DSC_0648-(ZF-7009-48660-1-008)DSC_0658-(ZF-7009-48660-1-004)[2] The Ollie Swaddle Okay, now this thing is EPIC!!!! Like I'm in love! My bestie has 5 lil' nuggets [yes, 5!!!] and is the most wonderful swaddler I've ever met. She can wrap up an Aden & Anais muslin swaddle like a champ. I can't seem to master it, he was always busting out. So I tried various velcro swaddles and, again, he could Houdini his hands out of them. He was completely sabotaging his sleep. I decided to try The Ollie Swaddle and let me tell you, ah-mazing! He sleeps great with it on and he doesn't ever overheat!! Bomb dot com. Worth the money, for sure, because it's the only swaddle I need. I love, love, love, love this thing… Have I made my point!? I thought so.

DSC_0796-(ZF-1563-22915-1-001)[3] Baby Gap Zippered Footie PJs My mom, Sandy, told me over and over, "zippered footie pjs are what you want." Like most things, Sandy was right!!! They are amazing and easy and keep the nuggets feet nice and warm. I am obsessed with the adorable patterns at Baby Gap. I stock up when they do their 50% off. Do it.

DSC_0791-(ZF-1563-22915-1-002)[4] Sound Machine  The rain setting pretty much completes my life. Honestly, I know every site says they help the baby sleep because they are used to the loud sloshing sounds from the womb, but dude, I think this is more for the parents. It helps so much to drown out every tiny little baby sound that threaten the few precious hours of sleep that you actually get. I'm never gonna be able to sleep without one.

[5] Bassinet I wasn't going to use an actual bassinet. I planned on having Roc sleep in his pack n play bassinet… yeah, that didn't work. He ended up spending the first 3 weeks sleeping in his Mamaroo and in the bed with me. The pack n play, like his crib, just seemed to big. The second we would wake up and realize that he was in it he would howl, so when a friend offered up her bassinet I thought it was worth a try. Worked like a charm. He loves the thing!! He would even wake up  just look around staying completely calm and put himself back to sleep. #Winning. It's great for late night feedings too, I essentially used it as a co-sleeper. We just transitioned Rocco to his crib, so it's true you don't need for more than 3 or so months, but I will definitely buy one if we have another kid.

[6] 100% Pure baby products A friend gifted us the awesome baby wash and shampoo as a shower gift. The nugget is just now starting to enjoy bath time and these products are legit. They get him nice and clean and I don't have to worry about them being toxic or nasty.

DSC_0679-(ZF-1563-22915-1-004)DSC_0792-(ZF-1563-22915-1-005)[7] Soothie I wasn't sure what I thought about pacifiers with the whole nipple confusion thing, but alas, I learned to LOVE this thing. We tried a few and a friend even brought me some extras for us to try because he seemed to really dislike them, but the green soothie ended up being the best. I realized it's a persistence and timing thing, like all things baby sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. Such is life.

[8] Fitness Ball So I bought this thing for labor, but we forgot it… Oops. And it wouldn't have mattered I was definitely a labor on my back mama. I was working hard enough, I didn't need to worry about balancing or holding myself up. But who knew that the little guy would love bouncing on the ball so much!! I mean, it hurts my back like whoa, but when you are willing to do anything to get your bambino calm, you bounce.

[9] Boba Wrap This wrap looked super daunting to me, but our very own Kelsey Erin of Kelsey Erin Photography spent an afternoon teaching me how to dougie wrap this insanely long fabric into a safe hold. And let me tell you, with a deployed hubs and no help, for many many nights this was the only way I got anything done, sometimes it was the only way I could eat a meal. He would almost instantly quiet if he was fussy and within 5 minutes he would be asleep. It was life magic. Baby soothing magic.

I am sure that there are 10 things I loved, but right now my sleep deprived brain has only 9. So that's all you're getting! Also, if you have a new-newborn then let me just say I know it's wonderful and beautiful and you love them so much, but it's okay to feel tired and just want to cry in the fetal position in the bathroom. Apparently that's normal. That's when I say, why don't more Mama's talk about it then!?!? I'm probably going to write more on the subject later, but let me just say you are in survival mode and doing what is best for you and your baby don't let ANYONE tell you that you are doing something the "wrong way." Every baby is different. You do you boo boo.

Happy Wednesday!!!