The bounce back conundrum.

So if you've had a kid chances are you've found pages like 4th Trimester Body Project or Birth Without Fear, etc. these amazing groups celebrate moms in all of their forms, shapes, and sizes. I love it. Every woman, especially those who have made, housed, and birthed a baby, should never hate their body. It's beyond miraculous what the female body can do, the power we are capable of... It blows my mind. Staring at my 7 month old and 2.5 year old it's like "HOLY HOT DAMN!! I CREATED THEM!!!" Like shit!!!! So yes, I'm amazed and in love with what my body has done... Butttt I still desire to get my body to a place where I'm wholly confident, healthy, and strong. Don't hate me, but I have kids and still want to look good in a bathing suit. *gasp* So like anything in this day and age you are damned if you do, damned if you don't. On one side you get the, "stop shaming moms who don't bounce back after baby" and then there's the "stop shaming moms who desire to spend time on themselves and exercise" Why is it always like this?! All it takes is 10 seconds on a comment thread of any mommy related story for the claws to come out. We are always offended. Everything is offensive. Dear sweet baby Jesus!! I'm offended, you're offended, I'm offended... Geez!! Why?! Did agree-to-disagree just fly out the window?  Since when did your opinion mean so much more than your neighbor's?! And why in the hell do we have to tell everyone?! Hell, I'm a blogger, I love giving my 2 cents about all things and I have plenty of thoughts about child raising ideals and practices... Sure, I might quietly judge or disagree with another mom for a certain behavior, but guess what?! I keep my freakin mouth closed because that mom is just doing her best! The poor mom who lost her child to an alligator attack hopefully never looked at the comment thread on a story about their situation because the terrible awful things that were said would leave even the toughest skin bruised. She was doing her best. Don't get me started on the Gorilla kid...

I've gotten off topic...

When I stare in the mirror, I'm gonna be honest, I'm like Meh. I don't hate my body, but I am genuinely excited about getting back into my old clothes and feeling happy with my nekkid body. I hesitate to say "get my body back" I don't want that body, I want my -amazing, birthed 2 babies naturally with no drugs, fed two babies from my boobs- body, I just want strength and stamina to chase my kiddos endlessly. I want to be able to pick up my kids until they're teenagers. Slight exaggeration? Possibly.

It doesn't have to be one or the other. We can love our bodies and all they've done and desire to spend time on ourselves excercising and getting in shape. If you're anything like me, the time spent exercising is just as much a mental cleansing as it is a physical challenge. It gets my brain right. Even if it's just a walk or a 10 minute arm series. You'd be amazed what that can do for your soul.

On top of exercise and good old fashioned clean eating, after F bomb I decided to wear my Belly Bandit compression gear for REALS this go around. I had it for after Roc, but was not consistent. Let me tell you consistency is key!!! I wore my Original Belly Bandit, all-day everyday for the first month. After that I tried to wear it for at least 4 hours for the following few months until it [hooray] became too big! I switched to the Mother Tucker corset after that and again wore that for a few hours a day . On top of these tummy products, I decided to try the Hip Bandit because with Rocco it was a solid year before my hips were back down to size. Guys!!!! At 5 months my hip measurement was a half an inch away from pre-baby... NUMBER ONE!!! So yea, if you're wondering if this stuff works. I'd have to say a resounding yessss ma'am. I also rock their Mother Tucker leggings, like, all the time. Just look at my past two fashion posts. I feel so good when I wear them and at the end of the day it doesn't matter what a comment thread says or Instagram or People magazine says, feelin good is all that matters!!

Cozy Cool

A mom uniform to be sure, but, real talk, leggings and a flow-y shirt are generally all I care to wear these days. The weather in Florida flip-flops from wet + cold to wet + hot. No middle ground. So layers are best on a cool day that may turn into a scorcher. I'm wearing, yet again, the best compression leggings ever from Belly Bandit. I swear I'm working on a post about all things BB, patience grasshopper. My leather jacket is probably my favorite piece in my closet. It's perfect. So glad I made the splurge back in 2013. Do you have a daily uniform!? I wanna know!

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Baby Numero Dos [0-3]

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Oh me, oh my. I had baby. Ah-gain. You'd think that would prepare me in some way for going through this mess again... Nah. That would be too easy. I feel like it's a whole new learning process. You forget the sleepless nights, crying, and being covered in poo and breastmilk. I suppose you have a better handle on certain things like feeding, diaper changing, what products are worth it and what are completely useless. So with baby #2 I've found some new things along with my favorite standbys for surviving the first 3 months.

Swaddles. We love, love, love our Ollie Swaddle, it is completely Houdini proof and you can get it super snug!! The material is lightweight and moisture wicking so you don’t have to worry about overheating. We also keep Aden + Anais muslin swaddles around for when little man wants to have a bit more freedom. They are also perfect burp cloths, blankets, car seat covers, nursing covers, their uses are endless. Plus, the patterns are so flipping cute.

All. The. Swings. This go around the Mamaroo has not worked its magic, but a friends Graco swing and Rock n Play aka poop chair(literally takes a poo ERRYTIME he is in this thing) have proven to be a little more tolerable for the little prince, but not enough that they would be worth the money to purchase. If you can borrow things from friends I highly suggest it, all babes are different end you seriously never ever know what they are gonna like.

Exercise Ball. Forget your rocking chair. I good ole exercise ball does the trick nicely. Seriously. Both oh my boys LOVE being bounced and rocked on my labor ball. Lol.

Wrap + Carrier. Especially for baby number 2. You have to get your hands free sometimes, i.e. Making big kid breakfast, etc. I love a good stretchy wrap (Happy Baby) for me is the best way to carry my tiny nuggets for the first 3ish months. A structured carrier is great for larger babies or once they gain neck control.

Sound Machine. This is an absolute must. Like you must have one. If anything it helps me sleep better and not here every little snort and squeak mister lets out. We moms wake up to a pin dropping once we have kids, so this definitely helps. I also think it helps once they transfer to their crib gives something familiar.

Coffee. Self explanatory.

A walk outside. Don't forget to get out. Even if it's just for the quickest stroll around the block. It's good for your brain. It's good for baby. It's good for toddler. All good.

Amazing Mama friends who just get it. I think the key to not fully losing your mind is having friends you can vent to who understand what you're going through who can remind you it's not forever and this season is so quick in the grand scheme of things. Friends who offer you wine and hold your baby. Friends who pray for you and check in on you.

You're not alone lady. Newborns are tough and they can easily breakdown your spirit. It's okay. Vent it out. It's not all sunshine and unicorns. There are days where you might say shut up more than I love you... #nojudgement Remember the unending grace provided in parenting. You're doing so good mama!

Ooohhh Sexy Cardi Marty

The weather in Florida is so bipolar I can't even keep it straight. Hence why we've been a sick house for a full week now! #sendhelp But just so you know wearing a thick warm cardigan with sandals is not out of the norm here. I'm rocking my most favorite compression leggings by Belly Bandit. Mother Tucker FOREVER. Also, remember when it was a mortal sin to wear navy and black and brown together... now it's cool, and all on my sweater. This outfit is playground appropriate, but also works for a cute morning coffee date. Wish I was going on a cute morning coffee date, any one want to take me out on a cute morning coffee date!? Tired. No sleep. Sick house. Blerg. Happy Tuesday! [show_shopthepost_widget id="2379939"]

The 12 things I've been watching without cable

So one thing I hear all the time about life post children is that you no longer have time for television. I can't say I agree. I no longer watch the 10 or more shows at a time that I used to... Heck, I don't even have cable anymore, but I've found that just means you are more selective with what you watch. But when you have a newborn that won't be put down and a toddler that takes 3 hour naps, you watch many hours of television. F guy naps the same time as Rocco now, so I eat lunch and watch my programs. I've found so many amazing shows via Netflix, Amazon, etc. Ummmm and hello, why didn't anyone tell me Netflix and Chill meant to have a bootycall!?!? Am I seriously the only person that had no idea!? Any who, I love a good crime thriller as you can see and you'll quickly catch on to the fact that a good deal of my "must watch shows" are courtesy of the BBC or about Brits. I LOVE me some British shows.Marcella. Netflix. This one gave me nightmares, but I couldn't stop watching. DCI (detective in British speak, you'll see this a lot in my list) Marcella Backland is back to work after a long hiatus when a long dormant serial killer comes back to town. It's. So. Good.

Luther. Netflix. DCI John Luther has a serious anger problem. He solves all the worst crimes in London, think like Dexter style baddies, all while his marriage falls apart and he seemingly loses all reason. Not only is the acting amazing, Idiris Elba is GORGEOUS. Hey boy, heyyyyy.

Broadchurch. Netflix. You guys. You. Guys. This is the best show you aren't watching. The small seaside town of Broadchurch is crushed when a young boy is found dead. It is unbelievably good. Twists and turns. And David Tenant (yes, Dr. Who) and Olivia Colman as DCI Hardy and Miller are literally brilliant. You'll laugh. You'll cry. You'll gasp. Like seriously, you'll be all like OH MY GOD WHAT THE HELL?!?! NOOOOOO. That kinda good.

The Crown. Netflix. There's a reason everyone cannot shut up about this. It's fascinating. Claire Foy, Matt Smith (another Dr. Who), and John Lithgow are out-of-control good!

Call the Midwife. Netflix. Dudes. So it's not secret I'm obsessed with childbirth. This show is a peak into the lives of midwives at Nonnatus House. It's based on the memoirs of Jennifer Worth and it's just crazy to see what was normal for childbirth in the 50s-60s among the lower class British.Santa Clarita Diet. Netflix. Soooooo I was bored one afternoon and didn't want to be productive, hello story of my life... So I saw this was on Netflix and guys, I like love-love Timothy Olyphant. It's been a long standing love spanning many years. The Captain was not always a fan, but it is safe to say he has a man crush on him now. He's one of the most talented and funny actors in the biz. Check out his interviews on Conan, here and here and here and this one too. You too will love him. So good looking, so funny. I remembered seeing him doing press and discussing SCD and was super intrigued by the ambiguity of it's story. Well, I'm not going to spoil a damn thing for you. It is hilarious. Laugh out loud hilarious. The cast is so on point. The 28 minute episodes fly by, so beware it is easy to binge on, no pun intended. *rim shot*

The Night Manager. Amazon Prime. This award winning thriller is def worth a watch. And when I say thriller I mean hold your breath, pee your pants, edge of your seat thriller. The story follows the night manager of a Cairo hotel, Johnathon Pine and his dealings with a super super baddie who murdered his lover. When Pine is asked by the MI6 to go undercover to bring him down, it's on! It's so amazingly acted. Plus, Tom Hiddleston (hello gorgeous), Hugh Laurie, and Olivia Colman (my favorite from Broadchurch) all earned their Golden Globes. Top notch old boy.

Fortitude. Amazon Prime.  This one was a dark horse for me. I threw it on because The Kettering Project was wayyyy too creepy for me and I'm glad I did. This one took off reallllllly quickly. It follows the inhabitants of Fortitude, a small community located in the Arctic Circle, after a local is murdered and made to look like a polar bear attack. You. Guys. It's crazy good. Tons of misdirection, wooly mammoths, scandal, polar bears, and voodoo!?!?!? Oh, and did we mention it stars Stanley Tucci (as a DCI, haha, seriously) AND Michael Gambon... and they happen to be brilliant. Some crazy shit is going on.

Mr. Robot. Amazon Prime. Currently watching. Rami Malik is, like, genius levels good. This show, as The Captain and I always suspected, is AMAZEBALLS. Malik plays Elliot a, dare I say, mentally unstable software engineer by day and vigilante hacker by night bringing down all kinds of weirdos by hacking them. When approached by a man, Mr. Robot to use his insider knowledge to bring down the big bad conglomerate that killed his father he reluctantly agrees and MADDNESS ensues.

Justified. Amazon Prime. This show is amaze. Timothy Olyphant (yes, more of him) is amazing. Like, brilliant and attractive... and so attractive. As US Marshall Raylan Givens he serves up justice with a shoot first, ask questions later kinda 'tude. After an incident in Miami he finds himself transferred back to his hometown of Harlen Kentucky and this place is cray. It's so good. Great characters and man looks seriously fine in a cowboy hat.

The Man in the High Castle. Amazon Prime. So just in case you ever wondered what would happen if the Nazis won. Amazon has got you covered. Based on a Philip K Dick novel this puppy will thoroughly eff your mind.  What's going on?! Is it time travel?! Is it an alternate universe!? It's straight cray, is what it is and Rufus Sewell as Obergruppenführer John Smith (say that 10 times fast) is nothing short of brilliant. Like man, he's good. You feel so bad for him and then you're like, "wait a second, you're an effin Nazi." It's complicated.

WestWorld. HBOnow. So I was talked into watching this and holy bananas it is fantastic. WestWorld is a virtual reality play park created for the wealthy to go and live out their wildest, eh weirdest, and most perverse dreams. All of the "employees" inside the park are AI and crazy realistic. And well, some start gaining consciousness and damn. Damn!! Robots. Western Robots. Coming alive. It is nuts. So good. Like whooaaa. Like see!? I can't even use full sentences. It's worth it to get HBOnow for this and GOT.

Winter Uniform

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So here's the thing. Layers, they're great... they look awesome... but ain't no-one got time for that. When it comes down to it, I'm wearing easy clothes, outfits that require little thought. Clothes that I can throw off when I need to nurse or get a hormone hot flash. Yes, those happen. This jean and bootie combo has been a favorite of mine lately, see last weeks ootd post. I wear my trusty Felicity Nursing Tanks from Target under every damn thing. The tanks aren't online right now, but I've still seen them in the stores. They are 25.99 and rock my world. Buy. TONS. This is the outfit I've pretty much been living in when leaving the house, my sweater probably needs a wash, but I just keep spraying it with Tubby Todd Mama Spray in the hopes that no one will be able to tell it's been days since I last bathed... Cheers to that!!!

Happy Taco Tuesday/Valentines Day!! Talk to me about your mama uniform in the colder months!? I wanna know!

Hey Big Spender

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 It’s been nearly a decade since I graduated from college. I’m getting old. I worked throughout my college experience and sometimes I’m literally shocked and appalled that I had almost ZERO money saved. None. I spent a lot of money traveling and on rent, but literally wasted gobs of money on disposable clothes, disposable housewares, and things I simply didn’t need. Don't be like me. Travel, spend the money you need to live, and save some dough because after college there are some big kid purchases that will not only be useful at the time, but will be awesome years and years to come. So get prepared, I'm getting ready to drop my old lady wisdom on you.

Quality Mattress. So I bought a mattress right after high school from the brother of a coworker who “sold mattresses.” They were from Jersey, I’m not saying it was stolen, but I’m not not saying it was stolen. Regardless, it was a strange interaction and it was a terrible mattress which I continued to use for nearly a decade. We spend an unbelievable amount of time in our beds... Don’t buy a mattress that “fell off of a truck.” Buy something that’s going to give you quality sleep. And just wait until you’re pregnant one day in the not so near future, your back is going to be begging for a nice mattress. I wish that instead of cheap clothes and a cheap mattress I would’ve saved and purchased a Casper mattress, such a cool company and their mattresses receive bomb.com reviews. Lusting.

Mac Desktop. I had a super basic desktop that crashed 4 years after buying it. I lost years of pictures. I had never heard of an external hard drive at that point. #fail I wish so so so hard that I had purchased a Mac, I guarantee you I wouldn’t have had that problem. I’m obsessed with ours now, but still get sad when I think about all the photos and memories that were lost.

Nice Dishes. Now this might sound silly, but mind you I worked at Bed, Bath, and Beyond aka TripleB throughout my college career and one thing I did purchase that has literally stayed with me for years is quality white dishes. I don’t have a single piece of clothing I owned in college, but I still have these puppies 13 years later. Like, we still eat my dinner off of these plates and bowls. They’ve been through 9 moves and 5 states and are still going strong. Money well spent.

A Good Knife. Life is too short to cook with crap knives. A good knife can last you for decades! It encourages you to cook and eat-in, instead of wasting money on eating every dinner out! I love Global Knives, my Hollow Ground Santuko is simply amazing. Take a 20% off coupon to TripleB and get ya a damn good knife, or just go on Amazon. I heart Amazon.

Good Luggage. I got a piece of quality luggage from my parents and it has been amazing. 10 years and going strong. I suggest getting a good carry-on sized roller. I am OBSESSED with the products from new company Away. Their suitcases are beautiful [the white is amaze-balls], lightweight, and TSA approved. Oh and did I mention the built-in battery to charge any USB device!?!? This thing is amazing. Definitely not a purchase you would regret, unlike all of those trendy clothes from Forever21.

So, do we see a theme!?! Stop buying cheap clothes and save for cool grown up things that will last you for years to come!!